Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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yo mama's so fat, yo mama's so ugly; your mothers breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks

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Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

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How did the hillbilly fix his PC? He brought it to Wal-Mart and got a diagnostics from an expert then installed anti virus software.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Whats big black and hairy? A large black dog.

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A: Knock Knock.. B: Who's there? A: John B: John Who? A: Shut the hell up, i'm masturbating.

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't a Ferrari in my garage

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

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roses are red, violets are blue, poems are stupid, refridgerator

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What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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What do you tell your friend who has been cheating on his wife? You're a terrible human being, and she deserves better!

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Knock knock. Knock knock. Knock knock. I'm hammering nails. Knock knock.

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See you later... Just joke I'm blind

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Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?? Cause he got hit by a bus.

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Q: what do you call a much green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

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Why did the blackman fall off the bike? Because he stole it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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