What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? - To rape you. Knock Knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub. She says "Show me it's true what they say about black men". So he reveals a big penis and they have sex there and then.

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What's the difference between a Christian and a Jew? One believes in Jesus, the other doesn't.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Wanna have sex?

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Knock knock. Whose There? Megan Megan Who? Your Wife...

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Why did the man fail to enter the CAPTCHA phrase correctly? Because he was actually a bot, and bots are typically prohibited from accessing information on most public web sites.

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Why did 9/11 take place? Because God hates Satan

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom. First he goes to get a tux but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he hast to get some flowers so he goes to a florist and there is a huge flower line there. It takes forever but he gets the flowers. Next he heads to get a limo, unfortunately there is a long limo line at the rental office and it takes a long time but he gets the job done. Finally the day of the prom comes and the two are dancing happily and are having a good time. When the song is over she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there is no punchline.

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Why was little Timmy so fast? Because he's tied up in the trunk of a speeding car.

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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How much hard work does it take to become a man? To get to the other side!

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side.

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What do you call nuts on a wall? Walnuts. What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts. What do you call nuts on your chin My dick in your mouth.

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Knock knock. whos their! Grammar police. We'd like to have a little chat.

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Why do Vampires drink your blood? Because the movie maker needed a story

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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Woman + Kitchen = sandwich

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What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? What did the black guy say o the white guy

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Michael Vick walks into a pet shop. He buys a puppy and cares for it lovingly

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hey bruno ta quoi ds ta boite a lunch aujourdhui? DU SABLE CRISS DE POVRE!

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Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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Baby you're so hot I have an erection the size of an average penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops