Why did Harry Potter go to meet Professor Lupin? --Because he wanted to practice casting his Patronus

thumb_up thumb_down -18

An apple a day keeps the doctor away? What about the vampires?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A black man walks into a bar and orders a shot. He then precedes to drink it.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

The worst part of waking up, Is no Folgers in your cup.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A carpenter walks into a bar. After ordering some wine he tells the bartender that one of his 12 friends will betray him. He also says that once he was captured, the government will execute him on a wooden cross for everyone to see. The bartender in disbelief says to the man "You gotta be kiddin' me, do you think you're Jesus or something?" The man throws his glass of wine to the floor, grabs the bartender by his collar, and says "Hey man, I ordered red wine, not white wine you bastard!" After a few minutes, a group of nurses escort the insane loon back to the mental clinic. The bartender never saw the man again and proceeds to sweep that mess the psycho left on the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red,violets are blue I've got aids & now so do you Merry Christmas

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. 97

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the difference between a Christian and a Jew? One believes in Jesus, the other doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the little girl run to her mother? Because she saw a police inspector, who had already tried to kill her several times that week, aiming a poison dart at her forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? It depends on a variety of factors such as the size of your mouth, the amount of saliva, etc.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the chicken cross the road? ... So he didn't get Mono from Janelle.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Whoop-dee-do.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

my friend died in a car crash, now i have no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator? A: She couldn't find the 10 key.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what happens when steven hawking walks into a bar? everyone cheers at the miracle of science.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

There was once a little boy who started feeling sick. His mother gave him some soup. He died anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what did the duck say to the other duck Quack

thumb_up thumb_down -20

do you have snow in your vagina? because i am going to plow you

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red, Violets are blue, What the **** did i just do? I have no clue......

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Two Christians are on their way to church. They stay for prayers and have a lovely lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

If you say "Hi" to every tree you pass, is that being environmentally friendly?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My farts stink, And so do you.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops