I have three heads and nine eyes, what am I? I'm a liar.

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

96

The camp counselor woke me up, and said that it was going to be a long week. I didn't worry though, since all weeks are 7 days long.

Why is 6 afraid of 7.? Well 7 has suffered a tramatic brain injury, and has a tendancy to brutally attack anyone he comes in contact with. The whole situation is unfortunate.

1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

What do you get when you run from Long Island to New Mexico? Tired.

Why'd the Squirrel fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead

They say that men are from Mars, and women are from Venus. If that is true, then who on Earth are we? [L]

Michael Brown

Why didn't Susan go to school on show-and-tell day? Because she's dead.

A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

Did you see Helen Keller at the movie theater? I didn't either, she's dead.

whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

How did the Mexican got into the USA? Trough the border.

Ask me if I'm a carrot Are you a carrot? No

How many easily offended people does it take to change a light bulb? Shut up, that's not funny!

Why are black people black? Because they're clearly not white.

What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

What do you get when you cross a turtle and a platypus? Well, I don't think it's genetically possible by nature, but Turtpus is a pretty funny name.

Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud…

What did Michael jackson say to Abraham Lincoln? Nothing, there are both currently deceased, if they did, however, say something to each other, it would not be in person, because they are both dead.

Pope: how to help the unfortunate people my fellow Christians? Christians: We should give donations and a lot of support. What we always do. Pope: and i shall wear this golden hat, sit on a high quality super expensive chair, this rope with gold attached to the decorations, and wave my golden staff as you help these poor innocent children. Christians: yes...that... Pope: P.S: and live in an expensive church with many children alone.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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