Once upon a time a was born

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What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

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Whats the difference between a baby in a comma and an iPod? I actually use the baby.

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What do you call a man in a wall? Stuck.

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how do you stop a black man from drowning take your foot off his head

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knock knock who's there? your destiny

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What did bob say when he was told his beloved parents were dying? "oh"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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Why cant Helen Keller driver? She's a woman

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Jews

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What did the magician say to the little boy after he "cut" his mother in half. She is dead now. Your dad is on Row 4, he is crying.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q.What happens when Torres scores A. He doesn't

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A man walks into a bar...so what? People do it all the time.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

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Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocaust.

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Why did Joe not cross the road? Because the Pedestrian Crossing light said not to.

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A man walks into a Bar, and he gets kicked out because its an animal only bar no people allowed

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I felt like kicking something.

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My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? No I said Lou. Oh hey Lou come on in.

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I like my sex how i like my steak Pink and Bloody

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You know what they say about fat thumbs? They give a lot of accidental comment likes on statuses.

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I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops