Roses are red Bob is dead My name is Dave Your a microwave

What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

What did the homeless kid get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

What did the black man say to the white man? Hey, I like your shirt.

Q. bob had 93 chocolate bars and ate 74 what does he have now? A. diabetes

roses are red poo is poo

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the hospital because his wife has multiple STD's

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

If monkeys ate trees, than what would trees be made out of? No one knows because that will never happen.

What do you call something green and fuzzy? Grass, I lied about the fuziness.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

Did you know that... Billy had a heart attack, it was sad. Now you know!

What did Joe get for his first birthday? Nothing he died at birth

Your momma is so stupid your momma forgot that jesus did exist and has been proven by historians to have existed

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I believe you've seen enough of these already.

Your girlfriend.

How do you stop a lumberjack? You thrust a javelin through his lungs

What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

Why are Asians so good at math? because of their work ethic and determination to become the best at everything.rice.

If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

A man walks into a bar And compliments the bartender for his great service

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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