A man walks outside and sits down to eat his sandwich.

Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I dont have a Ferrari!!

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

Knock knock whos there? Jake jake who? jake from state farm, and i'd like to tell you about our insurance company

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

What make's a constuction worker drop's his hammer? MC Hammer moves.

Hey! Have you ever heard of the Alzheimers joke?

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

rozes r read violots r bue i cannt soell causse ima bliend

What's worst then a road kill? Multiple road kils.

Who is the greatest cook ever? Adolof Hitler

What did the man say before he died? I am going to die.

THAT AWKWARD MOMENT... nuff said

How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

Q. why did the boy who just had his first kiss feel no emotion? A. He got hit a Croquet mallet and died

What is black, white, and red all over? Rape.

What do you call a college student who never studies? An irresponsible person

what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer what did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that long.

whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa

What does Yoko Ono say while rehearsing her song before a concert? She gives directions to the band.

What's worse than a paper cut? 2 paper cuts.

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was blind.

My brother and I laugh at how competitive we used to be. But I laugh harder

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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