How to you kill a pizza guy? Shoot him in the face.

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Why can't kids do drugs in school? Because it's against the rules.

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A man walks into a bar He says "ow" and promptly sits down and ices the bruise he sustained

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What did the black basketball player say to the white basketball player when he lost? Good game.

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knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

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What's worse than Christmas alone? Pedophiles.

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Have you heard the one about the Priest, the Pastor, and the Mail Man? -no, how's that go? Oh you haven't? That's too bad, it's really good.

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Q: Whats white and fluffy? A: White fluff

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What do you call a man covered with cottoncandy and goes to the store and buys a jar of pickles? George

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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How do you make a 5 year old cry? Kill their parents.

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Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

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what do you call ten white people on a bench ten white people sitting on a bench, possibly eating their lunch

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*knock knock* i have diarrhea

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Killing people is not illegal just ask a soldier

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What do you call it when an old person cuts off their fingers? Dementia

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Why was Barack Obama wearing a Justin Bieber T-Shirt and slapping you with a pitchfork? Because you didn't listen to me when I told you to stop doing shrooms

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Why can't you teach drivers ed and sex ed at the same time in Iraq? The camel would get tired.

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What's brown an sticky Shit

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. A.Knock knock B. Who's there? A.Not Susie

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There are three guys on an airplane, a Korean, a Mexican, and an American. The pilot comes on the speaker and syays,"The plane is to heavy, throw out the thing you have most in your country." The Korean throws out an AK-47 and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The Mexican throws out a taco and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The American throws out the Mexican and says,"We have to many of these in our country."

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How do you stop a black man drowning? Take your foot off his head

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A man was going to take his girlfriend to prom, and decided to pick up his suit from the dry cleaners. Unfortunately, there was a long line. He then went to pick up some flowers for his date, but there was a long flower line. Finally, he takes his date to prom and decides to get some punch for them.He returns with the refreshing beverage and the couple has a wonderful time.

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Ferrari? That was my Ferrari by darragh hamilton

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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