a man and his son pull up out side b&q and the man says to his son run in there and get me a black n decker and the boy goes in and is standing in the power tools isle and he looks round and there is a lady standing next to him so he hit her, the woman happened to be black and 2 minutes later a security guard rushes round and says son what did u do that for and the son said my dad told me to come in and get a black n decker!

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What do you get when you cross a cow with an elephant? A deformed organism

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If Bob has 65 sweets and he eats 57 how many does he have? Bob has diabetes. He has high blood sugar, either because the body does not produce enough insulin, or because cells do not respond to the insulin that is produced.

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Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

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Why did the man throw the baby at the brick wall? I don't know, but that is a tragic incident and I will now go mourn.

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what did your mum say when she ran into chuck norris? hello chuck norris

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whats worse than the black death. Bieber Fever

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What's black an white and red all over? Two dead babies, one African American and one Caucasian split in half by a chainsaw.

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knock knock whos there? i dont know arent you supposed to get the door?

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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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NeroChan, I have said nothing to you, that you have not taught me, if nothing else you have indirectly inspired yourself, you will get back on your feet, you just need to take one step at the time, I know how ambitious you are, but you always focused on helping others, hiding, seeing yourself as a sinking ship, trying to help as many as possible before you pass away. We can work trough this together, it is easy to figure out that you are trying to protect others from what you feel that you have become, something that cannot be repaired, something that was never meant to be fixed, but to be used until it had no more to give.

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? several.

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A kid asks his mom: "Mom, what would I be when I grow up?" And so his mother answers: "You won't grow up, you have cancer"

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My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

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what happened to the kid who opened the goldfish? he got eaten by a cixelsyd dinosaur

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Honey, it really is such a tragedy that my sense of sight doesn't function properly. I've missed out on many beautiful things in my lifetime.

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What do a turtle and an eagle have in common? They can both fly. Except for the turtle.

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Why did the man wear a mask He had low self-esteem, and was ashamed of his facial appearance

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family!

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What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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