A priest and rabbi walk into a bar. The priest leaves because they don't have wine.

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If you say "Hi" to every tree you pass, is that being environmentally friendly?

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"Wise old man, what is the meaning of life?" "I don't know why do people think old people are so wise these days?"

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what's 6 inches long and women love? my penis

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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How do you get out of a car with only a baseball bat and a hammer? Unlock the door.

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I DO NOT CARE ABOUT NOVA! MY NAME IS VIKTOR REZNOV! AND I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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In 2030, what will most people be doing for a living? Using food stamps.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Where am I

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Hi I'm Ben What's your name? I forgot. Hi "I forgot" what's your name? Ben

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What did you call something that is long, hard and full of seamen? A ship.

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What did one fetus say to they other fetus? Nothing they were aborted.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We are both lawyers."

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A black man, an asian man, and a gay man walk into a bar. What do they do? They mourn the loss of their dead friend.

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How do you drown a blonde. Put a scratch 'n' sniff at the bottom of a pool.

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Why did the suicidal terrorist swim with fish? He heard the SEALS we coming for him.

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Whats better than 1 person in your oven? 9 people in your oven.

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Why did jack fall off a cliff? Coz the hill was on a cliff.

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civil rights

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Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

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whats worse than drinking bad milk? tea bagging a bear trap

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What's round and bounces A basketball No!!!!!!! You dummy!!! Then what? Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What did god say when a black person was born? Damn I burnt one

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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