Roses are red Violets are blue I need some money.

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How did the mecanic die? He drowned

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Why did the giant try to eat the magical rainbow? A: Because the apocalypse is predicted for the Wednesday after santa gets shot by the evil jolly ice cream man which in secret is cheating on his wife who in turn eats every human baby ever known to man. duhhhhh

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How many spots does a giraffe have? Depends on the giraffe.

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Q:What type of cheese isn't yours? A:NACHO CHEESE!!!!!!!!!

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How can you tell if someone is gay? It depends, sometimes they can be flamboyant or not. Actually, one could be straight and still be flamboyant, that's what makes the world less boring. Everyone is different, there's no surefire way of knowing, unless of course they tell you that they're gay.

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a priest, a bishop and a cardinal walk into bar to hand out pamphlets about alcoholism

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says "get out you jew!" The bar tender apparently was a Nazi.

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You know, dark humor just isn't everyone's cup of liquiffied dead baby.

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Why did the man smile at his wife? Because she had a silly looking face, like a fish.

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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Two black people passed me in an alley at night...... They said hi

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Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

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A bear walks into a bar. Mauls every one in it, then is shot to death by animal control.

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A: Knock, knock. B:Who's there? A: It's your neighbor, Sam. B: Oh, well my extended family is over for dinner at the moment. Would you mind coming back later? A: I suppose that would be alright.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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Why did the white man win the race Because there were no black people attending

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What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? An Irish wedding is the celabration of two people joining in matrimony, and an Irish funeral is a somber rememberence of a deceased person.

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Yo mamma is so hairy that she had to shave

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a Mormon knocked on my front door three times, and i took three seconds to answer, whe shook hands for three seconds. how many dead kittens can fit in my blender?

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What is the difference between men and women? Several physical functions such has the reproductive systems, bone structure, and voice pitch.

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why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

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What did the man say to Hitler? You're a douche

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Tia is a dumb website. Turn 0ff blah

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops