Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man wearing nothing but Saran Wrap? - "That's for food. You should wear clothes instead."

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Why was the women not in the kitchen? Because she was probably doing something else

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Why did the man's pants fall down? He was not wearing a belt and had recently lost some weight.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his village has been ravaged by small pox.

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There's this Priest, a Rabbi and a Preacher talking about how similar they are.

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How do you get a slave to stop screaming from the rope he is hanging on? You stop messing around and you hang him already!

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Why did Jerry Sandusky rape little boys? Because his penis was hard and he needed to get his nut off quick

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana Your parents must have little regard for your social identity because they named you after a tropical fruit. Either that or you are clinically insane. I am concerned; please leave.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The Holocaust.

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How do you get a Mother out of a tree? Ask them to come down, because it is really not socially acceptable for a responsible adult to be climbing trees.

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"DUDE! THERE IS A KNIFE IN YOUR LEG!" "SERIOUSLY!"

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I'm pretty sure this site has been taken over by 12 year olds... None of these are funny

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why is the sky blue? because your mother blocked your computer to meatspin.com

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Why was the black man carrying the television away from the store? He bought it

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How many British people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Two. One to screw in the lightbulb, and one to hold the flashlight because the room is probably dark.

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your mumma so fat when she stepped on the scales it said her phone number

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What is worse than ten babies in the street, eleven babies in the street.

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if someone chucks skittles at u and says "taste the rainbow!!!!" chuck m&ms at them and say "Im not afraid!!!!!"

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A bus with 12 black guys is driven off a cliff. What is the sad part of this story? ... Our beloved president was not involved.

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A group of cows boarded a spaceship and was launched into orbit around the Earth. It was the herd shot around the world.

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What happed when the homeless shelter went out of business? -Everyone went hungry and died.

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Knock knock Who's there? Banana? Knock knock Who's there? Banana Knock knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you glad you don't have cancer?

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocausts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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