Why can't jokes spit?

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Why was little Tommy scared? Because he'd just been abducted by a psychopathic rapist.

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What do you get when you shoot 3 cute kittens that have just walked into the house? 3 dead kittens

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not your cheese.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who. *giggle*

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What did the blind man say to his teacher? Nothing, blind people can't talk.

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A man dressed as a woman gets hit in the nuts they fall to the ground in pain

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Why did the black guy still have price tags on his clothes? He forgot to take them off.

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Why didnt sally throw out her lunch? Her mom had a miscarriage, she was never born.

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

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Whats the difference between a hoover and a harley? one is a vacuum, and the other is a motorcycle.

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What's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? A Holocaust. What's worse than a Holocaust? 3 bee stings.

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven is black

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A: "Get in the car."

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You wanna know what's out of this world? The moon

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A tragedy almost unparalleled in marine history.

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Little Birdy: Are you my mother? Man: No, I'm a murderer. Get in the truck.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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I remember my days you know in the army, agfanifuckingstan, got dirty water, then spent a week shitting... Anyway, I was holding a grenade right? And then two of them came around and I was like "here come good boy! GOOOD BOY! Catch the ball!" And then I pulled the pin and threw it. Aww shut up, you are all like "YOU SOLDIER KILL PUPPIES!" NO THOSE WHERE KIDS! And they would have been like 15 today and been killing your men today! YOU ARE SO FUCKING WELCOME!

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what's the difference between a bearded man and bearded lady the bearded man has a penis

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Boy it's sure cold out today. Die

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KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA CHAMELEON

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How does a black man get down the stairs? He walks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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