Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

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Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

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If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

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Why did the black man have a gun in his hand? He was crossing through a dangerous neighborhood and was offering protection to himself and his family.

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whats brown and stickey? a brown stick

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What's worse than seeing Charlie sheen in a Turkish bath house? Watching the direct tv commercial for the 100th time today

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Person A - you must be tired, cuz you've been running though my mind all day Person B - i have no legs...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

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Did you hear about the blond that jumped off a bridge? She died.

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Two fish are in a tank. The first one says, "How the heck do I drive this thing!".

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Q: How do you make an mail man cry? A: Take his car and run over his family.

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what do you call a baby with a stamp on his nose.? Kentucky won the national championship this year

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Your mother is so fat, she really could stand to lose a few pounds.

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Things to do get an A on my test win my hockey game become immortal well that escalated quickly

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What is white, black and blue all over? A zebra that was assaulted by Chuck Norris.

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What do Miley and Billy Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

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Your family tree is like a cactus, its full of pricks. ;P

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What do you do to a brain dead man to get his money? Pull the plug.

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My jeans

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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How does an electrician install an outlet? I don't know. I'm not an electrician.t

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There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day"

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Sanderson. Sanderson who? You're boyfriend. Let me in. No, I'm a bit busy chopping up dead bodies. Come back in a bit. Oh let me help you! I like the way the blood runs out of the fresh ones!

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What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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