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A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says that there are no dogs allowed, but the man says that he is blind. So the man sits down with his dog and asks for a drink. The bartender decided to check to see if he was really blind, so he says, " Hey, do you know what time it is?" The blind man replies, "7 o'clock," The bartender says, "Ha! You said you were blind! Get out of..." but was interrupted by the man, who promptly said, "No, I'm deaf," and left.

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Q: If Elvis was alive today, what would he crave the most? A: Brains. Moral: BRAAAAAAAAAAAINS!

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What's Great and Danish? The Great Dane Kane.

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A cyclist looses control in a race. How does he stop? Run into the spectators on the side of the road.

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Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? She was a mother catering for her child's sporting event.

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How can you tell if someone is a global warming alarmist? Their IQ on average is 10 points below normal

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a butcher's shop. The priest and the minister each by a pound of pork while the rabbi doesn't because one of the 613 Commandments is that a Jew shall not eat any animal with hooves.

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why was the baby crying? cause his abusive father broke his arm.

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Do you know what lmnop is? No. A group of five consecutive letters.

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whats worse than falling off of your bike? thats as bad as it gets,try to think of something else

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What did the aliens say when they first landed on planet Earth? We've come back for Anthony Davis.

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Miley Cyrus Walked into a fence and fainted.

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What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

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Where's my baby??

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What did the girl say to the boy? You are a boy.

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How do you piss off a blind person? Tell him to piss in a round room.

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The schoolboy said to the bus driver, this is my stop the bus driver replied "no, we have a while to go yet"

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Why was the man hanging from a tree? He got the Death Penalty

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How do you kill Glenn Campbell? Stab him with a screwdriver.

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roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme others don't.

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What's worse than finding a knife in your car? Finding a car in your knife.

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Yo momma stank so bad, she might have a serious vaginal infection. You should take her to the hospital.

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what do you do when you see a black man punching a girl? act like you dont see it and get the hell out of harms way

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops