What did one tampon say to another? Nothing they were both stuck up.

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A bear walks into a bar. Everyone evacuates as animal control safely asses the situation.

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If you are riding uphill in a canoe and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to fit in the dog house? None. Ice cream has no bones.

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What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Because she had no arms!

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Why did the black man go to the store with a gun? He recently bought it a couple days before to go hunting, but it wasn't working correctly.

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A muslim walks into an airport. He then buys his ticket, boards his plane, and his flown to his proper destination.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

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In retrospect, I was wrong to microwave all those cats.

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Wanna hear a joke? What? Life.

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Yo Mama is like a gas station:pump and pay.

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How do you kill a blonde? You stab her many times in the ear with a fork......Then finsih her off with a spoon. No knives those hurts

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Why was the boy afraid? Because he had just seen his dog get ran over by a tractor

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why was the girl raped? she left the kitchen.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's big and black? An ant i lied about in being big

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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an object in motion continues to stay in motion unless acted upon by an external force :)

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roses ar red violets ar blue i have aids

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What did the asian boy's parents say when he came home with a report full of b-pluses? "You did well, but try harder next time."

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Why did the man laugh as he sat in the electric chair? He was being tickled by the guard.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have aides egg

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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