Who is the greatest cook ever? Adolof Hitler

rozes r read violots r bue i cannt soell causse ima bliend

Q: What's worse than ten babies tied to ten trees? A: One baby tied to ten trees.

A man walks outside and sits down to eat his sandwich.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

Why was the black man crying? His wife left him, took his children, and most of his possessions in the divorce.

Do you have ass-thma? Coz your ass is taking my breath away

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken had just escaped from the slaughterhouse where he witnessed the brutal decapitation of his entire family and in his heightened emotional state was unable to map out a safer and more sensible route.

There once was a man named Trevor. Trevor was walking casually through the forest one day. All of a sudden, a wolf leapt out from the trees. The wolf said, in a harsh voice, "Hey man! This is my patch". But then Trevor woke up and realised that his hallucinations were symptoms of a degenerative brain disease.

A man walks into a bar after a hard day of work, and he meets this girl and they really kick it off, so the girl says, "lets go somewhere more, private" and they both go to a more secluded bar that has less decibels of noise.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

What did the blackman say to the whiteman???? Nothing! They both commintted suicide

What's worse than a paper cut? 2 paper cuts.

My brother and I laugh at how competitive we used to be. But I laugh harder

What does Yoko Ono say while rehearsing her song before a concert? She gives directions to the band.

What do you call a college student who never studies? An irresponsible person

What did Larry do when little Billys baseball crashed through his window? He raped and murdered little Billy for Larry has raped and murdered many children.

What did the drunk homeless man get for his birthday? Liver cancer.

what do you call a kid with no legs and no arms some one who will nevaer forfill there bucket list cause they cant write it

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? i lost my tractor

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

Why cant Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukaemia.

Carlos was attempting to write anti-jokes. He sucks at writing anti-jokes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...