I'm HIV positive.

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obama

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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What's long, yellow, and can kill you if swallowed? A school bus

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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What's the different between a blond and a brunette? Blondes taste better when cut into small pieces and fried in a skillet.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

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Knock knock! Who's there? ADHD ADHD wh-? SQUIRREL!

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? A dead baby in 10 trash cans.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

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What did the west African get for his birthday? Ebola

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what did one elephant say to the other one? nothing silly elepehants dont talk

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thomas!!!!

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

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Why did the father and his son drop their cola? Because a meteor hit and killed all life on Planet Earth.

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Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

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what's worse than finding a truck full of dead babys taking them out with a pitchfork

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have safe sex

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a man walks into the bar and gets knocked out

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A lobster walks up to an octopus. What does he say? Nothing. Lobsters cannot talk.

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A guy with cancer walks into a bar... No one treated him any special way, it's not like he had I have cancer written on his forehead.

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Why did the plane crash? Because there was no pilot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops