Why didnt Steve Jobs make an iphone 5? He died

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Man: Excuse me sir, is this where I turn in my library book? Farmer: You must be really lost, this is a farm.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

"Merry Christmas, Mom! My gift to you is...ME!" "I brought you into this life you disrespectful brat!" He then proceeds to a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

guess what>? your mum lol

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A religion is like a penis. They are both nouns.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's the deal with airline food? Food tastes different on an airplane. The atmosphere dries out your nose, the air pressure numbs 1/3 of your taste buds, and low humidity levels give you cotton mouth. These factors cause the food to taste worse than it normally would.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How did the mexican die while fixing a lightbulb? He fell off the ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Who enjoys hearty wank sessions with friends and long walks on the beach? David Cameron.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

person 1. Did you here about the black guy who went to college? person 2.no person 1. either have i whats ironic is that they are both black

thumb_up thumb_down -26

11th September jokes are just plane wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: What's big, yellow and can't swim? A: A school bus full of children.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did Johnny disappear? He was sucked into a vacuum toilet on an air jet.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

thumb_up thumb_down -26

So a little girl walked into a bar... A concerned adult then told the bartender. The bartender's name was Jim. Jim then asked the girl if she knew her phone number. The little girl said nothing and the bar tender was perplexed at the petrified look on the girls face. Jim the bartender then called the police and explained the situation.Once the girl was brought back to the police station it was learned that she had been missing for three months in a nearby county. The police then return to the bar to find that the owner had multiple kidnapped little girls in a cage under the bar that only he and the kidnapped girls knew about before the cops and Jim the bartender discovered it. The police then arrested The owner of the bar. He stood trial and was senteced to death row, he remains there today.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

whats flat and useless? the walls of an abandoned house where land prices are increasing and properties are in high demand

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why do black people like watermellon? becasue it is a delicious red fruit at a wonderful price

thumb_up thumb_down -26

This site is called anti-joke.com Because it is a donkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do old people break when they fight? A sweat

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do a blonde and a good beer have in common? They both go down easy.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what looks like a banana? a penis

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why did the old man lose his hair Because he had cancer and needed kimmo therapy

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops