What do a fish and an eagle have in common? They both live underwater aside from the eagle.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is dead, and thereby lacks the necessary motor control.

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Two guys walk into a bar, and they ordered two drinks. Then the bartender said, "Two dollars, please." - Brandie PANG

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Why is The stop sign bent? Because a ambulance full of sick kids hit it.

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Why did the lamborghini drive off the cliff? Because the person driving was a fridge

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someone had sex with Justin bieber end result Justin went into labor

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Q: What did zero say to the eight? A: Nice belt

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How do you know when some one is a complete dick? When they hit the prestige buttom in Black Ops when your taking a dump. N.P.P.

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What ticks and makes a very loud noise? the bed

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Have u seen stevie wonders new house? No. Niether has he

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What do you call an awesome bucket? An epic pail.

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Why does the cow eat grass? A: Because it's green. (Cows are colorblind)

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What's worse than a dead baby? What a sick question. Most would argue that nothing is worse than the death of an infant.

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Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

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Womens rights

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Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says "Holy cow it's hot in here!" The other one says "Wow, I'm a muffin and I can TALK!"

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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This is not funny.

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What do you get when John pulls your toe off the waterfall and takes three from an caramel? -6 to the power of golf.

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person 1: don't look person 2:Why person 1:because my shirt not on and my boobs are jiggiling

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? Her brother dared her to jump off the second story roof of their house...

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Roses are red Violets are red Your flowers are red Yes set your garden on fire

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What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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