What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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Why did the blond cross the road? She needed to get to the shop as she'd run out of milk.

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Crime in a hen house. All hens killed. Police found the suspected fox quickly and asked him if he have done it. No - he said. But it was him.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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What do you get when you throw a bagel at a chicken? One less bagel.

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A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A man fell in a hole. He's dead now...

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Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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What's the difference between sand and menstral blood? I can't gargle sand

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Whats invisible and smells lile carrots? Rabbit fart

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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why did suzie fall off the swing? because shes autistic and her mother likes to abuse her.

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Why did the father and his son drop their cola? Because a meteor hit and killed all life on Planet Earth.

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Why do elephants paint there feet yellow? so they can hide in mustard bottles. Have you ever seen an elephant in a mustard bottle? exactly

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Did you know that many scientists will find out what happens after death within your lifetime? But not their lifetime...

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Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

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A man and a Rabbit are in a bar , the Rabbit looks at the man and says, none of this is real.

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A white man, a black man, and a brown man are all in an elevator. The white man laughs "this is like the start to a racist joke or something." The other two men strangle him because he is white.

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why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got hit y a car

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Why is my grandpa always so grumpy? Because he has diabetes and life is very difficult for him.

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No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops