Roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you

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A black man walked out a window of a 20 story building a detective arives at the scene it was night time and he said wheres the body.

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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This is SPARTA! SPARTA? THIS IS MADNESS! (kicks guy down well) What is hurt! Baby dont love me, dont love me, no more. Moral: The funny thing is probably that the line makes a lot more sense all of sudden does it not?

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what do you call a fat man standing in the middle of the street a fat man

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They say time heals all wounds, yet my leg still had to be amputated.

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Why did Jimmy pass out Cause he drank a full tallboy

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why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

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Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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How do you kill a mime? Shoot him in the face.

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Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

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Whats 2 Plus 2? God Just Solve It.

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"This is the best of all possible anti-jokes," said Pangloss.

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Three men are walking, the first one walks into a bar. He has a couple of drinks because he is depressed. He drives home, drunk, and dies in a car accident. His wife finds out and hangs herself.

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What's black, smoking, and sitting at the top of the stairs? Steven Hawking after a house fire.

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Why did the man give money to the Jew? Why would a man give money to a Jew?

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Your son's coming to my son's birthday party, right?

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? No one... you have no friends.

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What you call it when 8 goes over 4? An improper fraction.

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A black man and a white man were in a fight. Who won? I don't know. It was pay-per view and I didn't buy it.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Starving.

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Why could the penguin not fly? It was shot in the wing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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