Roses are Red grass is greener every time i think of you i touch my weiner

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

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A man walked into a bar. He got a concussion and couldn't see strait for days.

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Siri, what is your definition of love? "Let me check on that...Here's what I've found." Google.com search = definition of love

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Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

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Wanna hear a race joke?.....whoops, ya missed it

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This isn't funny.

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Your momma's so fat that she should really be concerned for her health and seek professional help to manage her weight.

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Why did god make women? Because women are equally important when it comes to the birth to maintain or species.

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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Why did the young girl fall off her bike? Because somebody threw a fridge at her.

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What did the captain say to the priest? We're on a boat.

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Aiming with a revolver? That`s fucking overrated. with a heavy powerful revolver such as this one, you do not necessarily need to aim that well at the heart of your enemy in order to blow his brains out.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

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what happened to the man who walked into a bar he slipped from the bar of soap and died

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender can you throw me a beer and the bartender says yes and he throws him the beer and the man says I can't catch I have the smallest hands in the world and the bartender says go across the street there is a guineas book of world record store an check if you h e the smallest hands and he does so the next day he goes back and asks for another beer and the bartender throws him a beer and say I cant catch cause I have the smallest feet in the world and he goes across the street and checks and he does and then the third day he goes back to the bar and asks for a beer and the bartendor throws him another beer and says I can't catch I have the smallest penis in the world so he goes to the guiness book o world record store and then goes bac to the bar and asks..... Who's austin bell?????

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What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

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Chuck Norris walks in to a bar then many people greet him because of his celebrity status.

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My mom told me I was pretty, I know now that she is a liar.

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were at work systems r down

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Once upon a time there was a man sleeping, Then he woke up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops