Q. How can you tell if a snake bites? A. It depends on if he walks to school or carries his lunch.

dyslexic's Untie

An anteatter walks into a bar, the bar tender says "hey renee zellweger"

Your father must be an alien because he's driving a UFO

A guy walks into a bar. After only 10 minutes, he leaves. The bar closes in 10 minutes.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms.

What's the difference between 2 pieces of meat? Nothing

What's the difference between a black girl and a white girl? Nipple color

42

Velcro. What a rip off.

hi michael

Alex Gedrose.

Roses are red Violets are blue Hop in the van or I will rape you

A hipster walks into a bar you've never heard of...

Whats the difference between a hoover and a harley? one is a vacuum, and the other is a motorcycle.

What did the woman get for Christmas? Cooking oil and a black eye.

Why do you stick a baby in a blender feet first? So you can see the expression on its face...

What's the difference between a cult leader and a television personality? On average, 3.2 inches.

So there is this moose and he goes to a grocery store and asks, "where are the potatoes?" the employee says "aisle 5" and when the moose checks in aisle five, there are no potatoes.

Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

"Hey, do you guys wanna hear a joke?!" -no, shut up.

Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

My mother's star sign was Cancer. Ironic how she died really. She was attacked by a giant crab.

Shiiit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Taken from all sorts of species! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Bengal tiger, kangaroo, African elephant, blue whale too! Shit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-lala-lala!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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