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Roses are red,violets are blue I've got aids & now so do you Merry Christmas

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Dad's writes on son's Facebook wall: "Dear Son, How are you? All are fine here. We miss you a lot. Please!! TURN OFF THE COMPUTER & COME DOWN FOR DINNER!!! by darragh hamilton

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In an apartment complex, a black family lived on the first floor, a mexican family lived on the second floor, and a white family lived on the third floor. Suddenly, at about noon on tuseday, a giant tornado came through town and took out the entire complex, destroying everything. Why did only the white familey survive the catastophy? Because both parents were at work and the kids were in school.

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A child walks into a bar. He finds to find his dad passed out in his vomit, the bartender realizes the dad left the kid in the car, and he is arrested. The kid grows up traumatized by the experience, and becomes a substance abuser just like his dad.

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Who more attractive then you? No one your ugly as pooh.

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Lady: I think you guys would be very happy here. Chandler: No no no no no no! No, we're not together. We're not a couple, definitely not a couple! Joey: You seem pretty insulted by that. What? I'm not good enough for you? Chandler: We're not going to have this conversation AGAIN!

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What did the elf say to Santa I'm not making any more toys fat ass.

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Why did the man jump into the river? He wanted to go for a swim, but the pool was closed, so he swam in the river.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a corvette? I didn't get 20 years for owning a corvette.

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Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says nothing, because muffins cannot talk.

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ROTFL = Reaching out to fellow lossers

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do you know cadbury choclate buttons? yeah, you know the white ones come out now, do you why? so the black kids can get there face dirty too

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What is green and red and is going super fast? A frog in a blender.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple this joke.

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What did the text-to-speech reader say when the 12 year old boy played around with it? "Ass ass ass ass, ass ass ass ass."

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What do you call someone who sits on anti joke every day? Luke Skywalker

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What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

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What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything,

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girl. have you seen my duck man. yes he is with me right now girl rely you have him man. yes in my diner girl. d.i.c.k. man.f u

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Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

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what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

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What happens when a toad is struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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