Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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What did the orange say to the lemon? "Hello"

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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What did Jimmy get for his first bithday A coffin

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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A chinese man walks into a kitten store. He is a nice man in search of a companion.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

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Why did the mother stop breastfeeding her son? Because he was twenty five.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

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Little Jack Horner sat in a corner, Dead.

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

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what does 1 out of 15 people get cancer

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Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? ... A boy played in mud.

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Why did Billy kill Joey? Joey had sex with Billy's wife... and Billy wanted revenge.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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