What happened when the boy got caught with his hand in the cookie jar? He gets shot in the face by Santa.

why did the girl have pink hair? because she died it purple, but it didn't work.

What's the oppicite of brown???? Something not brown.

What's white and can't climb a tree? A Refrigerator

Why did Gary have severe learning difficulties? Because his mother drank a lot of alcohol while she was pregnant, and it harmed his development significantly.

What do you get when you cross a penis with a dinosaur? A dicklodocus.

Kinky = using a feather Perverted = using the whole chicken Weird = using chicken bones Downright disgusting = all of the above, plus a cat

Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

Chuck Norris has normal human strength.

How do you kill Helen Keller? With a gun.

Beached whale: "Look at me, I'm a land mammal"

What did the blonde order in the restaurant? A cup of coffee.

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

There's two muffins in an oven, the first muffin says "Woah, it's really hot in here!". The second muffin says "Oh my God! A talking muffin!"

how many friends does tomas have 0 he is a loner

What happened to the boy with cancer? He died

Q:Why are dinosaurs extinct? A:Well there are two reasons the first being a giant meteor struck the earth killing all the dinosaurs. The other reason you touch yourself at night.

'Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains' Doctor prescribes antipsychotics.

What do you call a group of Mexicans jumping over a fence? I heat of runners trying out for the Mexican Olympic hurdle team.

Who is stupid and no one likes him. Me. :(

What can never be seen by the owner, looks like Jesses mom, and smeels like shit. Jesses dick.

What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

what do you call a blind man who buys a caller i.d.? handicapped

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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