- Anti Joke

A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

How do you get a black man out of a tree? You help him down.

What is the worst part about dying? no-one cause no-one has ever survived dying to know what it is like so how is it possible that I would know

what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

what did the whale say when he came out of the water? BLAHHRRAHAHHAAARRRAER

A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

A man walks into a bar and says give me a 84 bourbon, when he gets it he spits it out and says this is no 84 bourbon this is a 74 scotch, So he asks for a 68 brandy , when he gets it he spits it out again in disgust saying this isn't a 68 brandy this is a 87 whiskey!, than the old man next to him says here try this, the man says what is it?, the old man just says try it, so the man does, he spits it out and shouts this is urine!, the old man says correct, now tell me how old i am.

Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A.One's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other's a human.

Knock Knock. who's there? James. well use the doorbell.

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what can I get you?" He is then checked into the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, for talking to a duck.

What do you call a Icelandic man? A guy who lives in a snowhouse with a elevator

What did the homosexual community have last night? A protest for gay rights.

why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

whats fat and sits on a toilet? a fat guy sitting on the toilet

what did the n i g g e r with alzheimers say to the c h i n k? 9/11 was the funniest fake joke since the holocaust and 9/11 and the holocaust and 9/11... and... what?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What do you can a boy with no arms and no legs? Names!

Why was timmy no longer being bullied at school? The rope said it all! Bitch Died HA

Knock knock. "Who's there?" "It's Mr. Johnson, your next door neighbor." "Come on in."

What do you get when you put your dick in a potato? A guy who is into creepy sex

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah

Once upon a time there was a cowboy. He died. The end.

How do you get a black man out of a tree? You help him down.

What is the worst part about dying? no-one cause no-one has ever survived dying to know what it is like so how is it possible that I would know

what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

what did the whale say when he came out of the water? BLAHHRRAHAHHAAARRRAER

what is a bracket? a bracket

Robert Mugabe.

Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A.One's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other's a human.

Knock Knock. who's there? James. well use the doorbell.

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what can I get you?" He is then checked into the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, for talking to a duck.

What do you call a Icelandic man? A guy who lives in a snowhouse with a elevator

What did the homosexual community have last night? A protest for gay rights.

why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

whats fat and sits on a toilet? a fat guy sitting on the toilet

quantum physics?

what did the n i g g e r with alzheimers say to the c h i n k? 9/11 was the funniest fake joke since the holocaust and 9/11 and the holocaust and 9/11... and... what?

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??