A dog is always in the pushup position.

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Red are roses Blue are violets Dyslexic am I.

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a priest and a jewish guy walk into a bar. they both drink as expected and go home to their families

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Why did the girl scream at old people? She had turrets. www.youtube.com/LouisGames www.twitch.tv/KiLM_Ghostz

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As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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You know what's sad and Funny? When a guy walks into a gay bar and doesn't get hit on.

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What happens when a monkey eats banana. It throws them up and gets some blueberry pie.

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Why didn't the chicken not get across the road? Cause it's head got shot off by some drunk asshole

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

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Q. what tall and looks like a jew? A.TODD

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a read head, a brunet, and a blonde sneak into a merchant ship. security hears some noises and goes on to investigate. all three girls jump into banana sacks. security guard kicks the first sack with the read head in it and she growls like a dog, so the security sees its a dog and keeps on walking. he then kicks the sack with the brunet in it, she goes on to hiss like a cat. so then the security guard kicks the last sack with the blonde in it, and she yells out "bananas!"...the end

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can probably lift more than 80 pounds

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Why are women such horrible drivers? Their hair gets in the way.

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What is the Question to Life, the Universe, and Everything? 43 - 1 = ?

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BIG PENIS

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What's sad about a truck passing behind a duck? A: Behind the Duck were the Ducklings.

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if you're jesus and you know it, clap your hands

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Why did the black guy buy a bucket of KFC? Because he was hungry

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Jeffery Dahmer. Oh, good, you're finally here!

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia And so do I..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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