World's 2 Biggest Lies 1. I have read and agree to the Terms of Service 2. That was my last piece of gum

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Whats bright red and claws at the window? Baby in a microwave.

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Emily Walker.

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call me if you want xxx on 0407777235

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new car? ....neither did he.

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The Big Bang Theory (the show).

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A man walks into a bar, and promptly leaves because he left his kid in the car.

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Roses are Red And sometimes yellow My mother is mellow I have terminal cancer. I also fisted my grandpa's anus last night

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Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse..”

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Why didn't 6 like 7? Because 7 was a huge racist.

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Q: When do you know you've had to much to drink? A: When the zebra in your belly button starts talking to you

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What did the litlle boy get for christmas? The toy which he could only dream about. His father got cancer.

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Jesus, a frog, and Faith Hill walk into a bar. The frog says, "What is this, a joke?"

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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How many babies can fit in a dumpster? Let's not find out...

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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Why was the girl distressed by the photo of her boyfriend's mutilated corpse? Because it was out of focus.

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Chlamydia

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why did the baby cross the road i tied it to the back of a car

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how many Ethiopians can you fit in a bathtub? all of them.

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Why do white people drive big trucks? 'Cause they can afford it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops