A friend? Just a friend that you told to stop pretending to be me? And you had no idea whatsoever that I am Nero as in not one of the six hundred thousand wabbabes?

What's long hard and black A drain pipe

Q: Why did they bury the Indian? A: Because he was dead.

Why did the girl cry when her boyfriend brought up the topic about rape? Because she was raped by her father as a child and it was a suppressed memory.

Rose's are red, Violet's are blue, I have a gun... Get in the van!

Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

What do you call a black salesman? A salesman, you racist.

a murderer sees a young child left alone at a park... he promptly finds the childs mother and returns her to her home.

did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he's all right now

John has 37 candy bars and eats 36 of them? What does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

An older man and a young boy are holding hands and walking into the woods together. The boy looks up and say, "gee, I'm scared, it's dark in there." the old man answers, "Yeah, just think how I feel....I have to walk out of here alone!"

what's small, red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

What do you get when a person and a cat try to have a child of some sort? Nothing because there chromosomes don't match, and there for physically impossible.

What did the priest say to the young boy? Hi.

What's the Chinese guy's favorite color? Blue.

His name is Frosted Mike, and he neither has nor does not have a penis.

Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

I put my baby in a microwave.

What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

So a crippled guy rolls into a bar..

What did one door say to the other door? - Nothing, doors can't talk

What's worse than a worm in your apple That one time I rapped and killed your mom, oh and happy birthday prick

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...