A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

why did the boy die? because he got shot

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

roses are red violets are blue i done your mom and i do you too

What's the difference between Jesus and a painting? It only takes one nail to hang up a painting.

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how much kush does it take to get kushagra high

What's worse than an asian driver? A blindfolded asian driver.

Violence is never the answer, its the question... The answer is YES!

a man was hired for a job. he made a lot of money and was able to support his family.

How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?? Cause he got hit by a bus.

Whats worse than the Holocaust? Anal

why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato.

Tyrone is innocent! I can't wait until Kirsty gets hers!

A Higgs Boson walks into a church, and the priest says, "We don't allow Higgs Boson's in here," and the Higgs Boson says, "But I thought Christianity promised acceptance to everyone who believes."

Three gay men are in a bath tub and bubbles come up and one says "who farted?"

So a baby seal walks into a club.

Why did the chicken cross the road ( The chicken says) I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having morals questioned.

What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

Hey babe, do you like going to sleep without shoes on? Because most people find it more comforting to remove footwear in order to rest and relax peacefully during bedtime.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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