4501 3346 1687 2292 david0209. never do this.

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Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

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21

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Knock Knock. Hello Frank! How'd you know it was me? There is a window next to the door.

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Why were my arms so tired after I flew in from the coast? Because the stewardess, god rest her soul, failed to latch the door securely.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally murdered 6's entire family.

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Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

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what do you call a farm without animals a house with a big yard

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A heavily drunk man walks into a bar and proceeds to die of alcohol poisoning.

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whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

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Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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A ginger man ascends to heaven and reaches the pearly gates, seconds later he wakes up in a hospital bed and realizes it was merely a near death hallucination and God isn't real.

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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Wayne Rooney's face and intelligence.

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What do you call an attractive woman in a blender? A very rare occurrence.

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So these two guys walk into a bar... Well, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mother a whore.

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What rude names do you call a girl with no limbs? Anything you want they can't touch you

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What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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