What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red, Violets are blue if something smells bad, its gotta be you! Roses are red this much is true but violets are purple not f***ing blue!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Wanna hear a joke? No? Oh

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because black people are usually stronger than chicken. If they weren't, chickens would probably eat fried black people.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a leopard and a coffee table? There is no difference. They both have four legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I contracted AID's from a prostitute So I went out and killed 4 gay since they are the most prominent carriers of the disease I also killed a black man I kill a black man everyday

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man walks into a pole and says "I know, this pun is lame"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the diffence between a pieace of fried chicken and a Jew? A Jew wouldnt scream in a fryer.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You take a survey of all citizens that live in the country of Mexico, find the wealth of each individual person, and whoever has the most money is the richest person in Mexico.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "cum" on your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the hardest thing to do while masturbating? Having sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

No antijoke here.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why was the boy mad? He had a lot of homework that evening

thumb_up thumb_down +14

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops