Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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You: Did u hear the one about that guy walking into a bar? Them: No. You: He said it hurt

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How does a yeti say hi? Raaawwwrrrr

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Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?

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If you have me you want to share me, if you share me you no longer have me. What am I? (a secrect)

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There once was a student named Bob. Every morning he would rush to his job. But one day there was rain, He slipped in front of his train, There used to be a student named Bob.

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What's slower than mollasses? Your fattass mother!

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Why did the teacher give out homework? she is a teacher

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An alcoholic walks into a bar. He wakes up the next morning in a jail cell covered in blood. 3rd time this week.

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Why did the man eat a human heart? Because he was part of a dangerous, religious cult.

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knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya" the man replies: "whisky."

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What comes after Friday? A ?.

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what did the apple say to the peer... I taste better !!

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Chuck Norris got his ass kicked. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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Knock knock Go away

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What do you call a dead guy under the ocean? Murder.

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What is worse than finding a dead bug in your coffee? September 11, 2001

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a horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" Unable to understand English, the horse shits on the floor and leaves.

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What's the difference between a brick and a baby? One is a fundamental item used in building walls and the other is a human

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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Smoke weed till i die nigga

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Lady: I think you guys would be very happy here. Chandler: No no no no no no! No, we're not together. We're not a couple, definitely not a couple! Joey: You seem pretty insulted by that. What? I'm not good enough for you? Chandler: We're not going to have this conversation AGAIN!

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Knock Knock Who's there? A kind hearted serial killer who will win your heart emotionally and then shoot you to death unexpectedly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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