Two polar bears, oddly enough, are sitting in a bathtub. One of them asks "Could you pass the soap?" The other obliges and gives him the soap.

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two tomatoes are running and one stops to tie its shoe and the other says "Catch up!" This begins to put the first tomato on the spot and he runs after the second tomato without finishing his shoe and he trips falls and dies of severe brain damage

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hey i just met you and this is c r a z y , but im a pirate so call me matey ;)

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Why was the boy so tired? He had to carry his moms dead body up the stairs.

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What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

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What would EARTH without ART be? EARTH, you dummy.

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Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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Ask me if I'm a toaster Are you a toaster? No, I'm a tree.

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What does the homosexual arab who plays football who has a best friend called Dave enjoy doing? Playing football.

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you know whats not funny white boards.

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? Put her in a circular room and tell her to find the corner.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Q.what do you call a dead baby? A. a dead baby

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What is the difference between a black man dead in the middle of the road... and a deer dead in the middle of the road? One is a human and one is an animal

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KGB Yes, How can I help? We are looking for a local serbian mobster who we believe to be hiding in this Village have you seen this man. No I cant say I have. Sorry Well thank you for your time and if you notice anything please try and let the local Police know.

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Q: What's black, white, and red all over? A: A horribly maimed zebra.

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[Set up] [No punch line]

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Did you hear about the guy who lost his whole left side??? Yeah he's all right now!!!

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your mamas so fat she tried to hang herself but the rope broke.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's usually in a good mood.

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Who is stupid and no one likes him. Me. :(

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops