How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Hi i love black men so much and i am a jewish faggot bye

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's worse than being fired? Eating a bucket of diarrhea.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why is cancer a big thing? -It has grown after the diagnoses

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats brown and rhyme's with "Snoop?" Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I have a dirty joke. Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What happened to the orphan? Who cares?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are red Violets are actually the color violet, contrary to popular belief.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhymming you have nice boobs

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

thumb_up thumb_down +20

That was totally mean! I mean I was in no way going to say any of that to you! Especially not the last part, sorry that must have been part of the suggestion or something, I barely ever tell myself stuff like that, I mean stop it okay? I mean I totally read it and all but I was all like "I am notnot typing that" please stop it, its humiliating.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A frog and a toad eat a pie and then realize it is weird and then die.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you get when a black man crosses a white man on the street? A black man and a white man on the street..

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops