I was walking down a railway line the other day... I was fined £1000

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If a tree falls in the forest, but nothing is there to hear it, does it still make noise ? Yes, because whether the action of the three falling produces sound waves or not is not dependent on whether something is there to receive these waves.

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Science fact: what would happen if you lined up all the veins in your body? You would die.

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Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

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What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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Yo momma so hairy she needs to shave herself.

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Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

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Q: What's funnier than rape? A: Many things such as murder or nuclear warfare.

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Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

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What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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WHY ARE WOMEN SO HARD TO SLEEP WITH? Because the men are always hard while sleeping with them

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welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

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Q. Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? A. She dropped it as she got into the van

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What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm Animals

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Jesse gets back at people who takes his job, by trying to get with their sloppy seconds.. Emphasize trying.

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You see this dick stop being a spick now suck on my wee wee u prick

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What was the pirates favorite letter? Q.

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Why do girls swim naked in lakes and oceans? so they have an excuse why their pussies smell like either tuna or cat fish.

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Person 1: have you ever seen Helen Kellers house? Person 2: No i havent Person 1: Neither did she

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You know how I know you're gay? Because you came out to your close family and friends, who were all very respectful and accepting.

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Why couldn't the blonde do her homework? She had no fingers.

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Q: Men are always very careful to have penises. Why don't women care enough to have them? A: That's a very good question.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah Witness

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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