What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Stab them in the chest 43 times.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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How would I re-arrange the alphabet? I would place P in your butt...

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I ordered the "Anti-Joke" book Jk, waste of money

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what do you call a blind man who buys a caller i.d.? handicapped

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roses are red violets are blue wanna hear a joke? WNBA....

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What did the blonde order in the restaurant? A cup of coffee.

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Your name is Fired, your Boss comes up to you and says "Your Fired" You say "I know my name." Your boss gets mad and throws you in a chimney

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Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects

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What did the farmer say when he finally found his tractor? 'Where's my tractor?'

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2 wales are at the bar one looks at the other and dose a wale call for 5 long minutes and the other one reply's "dude your drunk we got to go"

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Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

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how many friends does tomas have 0 he is a loner

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Since when is it any of your business? Cant we live in a world where chickens can cross the road freely without having there motives questioned?

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A dog with toothpaste in it's mouth wanders into a bar. The bartender beats it to death, because he thought it had rabies.

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven is black

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Why couldn't the blonde count to 70? because 69 was a mouth full:)

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Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

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None of the sex jokes are not funny or not funny. They're just inappropriate.

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What did the therapist say to the other therapist? Your skin looks dry, let me lend you some ointment.

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Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops