Why did the crossing guard drop his whistle? Because a kid got hit by a passing elephant.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock, whos there? Not sally

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

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Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

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How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

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Why couldn't the black man be an astronaut? He was not qualified for the Job

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Whats brown and rhyme's with "Snoop?" Dr. Dre

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Why did the black guy have a bunch of marihuana? He was the owner of a shop that sold it for medical purposes.

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Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

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what d you call three arabs walking through the desert? dehydrated.

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Women's rights

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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What do you call a black woman that's blind and has 1 leg? Handicapped

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

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Where do cows go on the weekends? The slaughterhouse.

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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Why is cancer a big thing? -It has grown after the diagnoses

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Hi i love black men so much and i am a jewish faggot bye

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What's worse than being fired? Eating a bucket of diarrhea.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops