what did the black man say to the Muslim? "you the bomb"!

What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

Why did the hooker cross the road? Because was a prostitute

H2O corndogs running around naked CC

An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

Knock knock Who's there A gorilla A gorilla who? A gorilla is a ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous ape that inhabit the forests of central Africa. The eponymous genus Gorilla is divided into two species: the eastern gorillas and the western gorillas, and either four or five subspecies. They are the largest living primates by physical size. The DNA of gorillas is highly similar to that of humans, from 95–99% depending on what is counted, and they are the next closest living relatives to humans after the chimpanzees and bonobos.

Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

wat does T.J.C.S. Mean? leave an comment to answer

A blonde goes to school, and completes a difficult math problem.

Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? A: Because she is a fictional character.

What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

What did Joe do after the party? He went home.

(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

Fight fire with with fire! That would be impossible, it'd just make the fire bigger. And probably kill you.

I heard an awesome joke last night. I cannot remember it.

what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

Why did the Mexican cross the border? He wanted to live a better life in pursuit of freedom and a better job.

Why is there a rock in a boy's foot? He wasn't weraing shoes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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