DONT think about ELEPHANTS. Your thinking about elephants now.

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Whats brown and sticky? A Stick.

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I like school Said no one ever.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

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What happened to the vegetarian when he tried outdoor survival He died due to lack of energy because of his refusal to eat meat and or any living substance

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Anti Jokes = Drained

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van.

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What did the boy in the striped pajamas get for Christmas? A shower.

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Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

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*knock knock* i have diarrhea

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Why was it so hard for teachers to teach Tommy? Tommy is brain dead

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What do you call a black man wearing tights? Rick

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what's black and can't swim? a black refrigerator

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Why did the ANTI-JOKE book cry? -It wasn't funny

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How do you kill a black person? Make them skydive 10,000 feet in the air without a parachute

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Two muffins are sitting on a counter. One muffin says to the other "hello." The other muffin says "Oh my god a talking muffin!"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your mum is dead, Just fucking with you! Kelvin Yang.

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What do you call an arab flying a plane? A pliot

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Why did the father and his son drop their cola? Because a meteor hit and killed all life on Planet Earth.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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Why didnt Timmy Go to school? He Died.

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Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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