You know what really grinds my gears? Insufficient lubricant.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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Why was little Tommy scared? Because he'd just been abducted by a psychopathic rapist.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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A blind man cant see this joke, so I probably shouldnt write it..

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Why can't jokes spit?

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What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

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Whats the difference between a hoover and a harley? one is a vacuum, and the other is a motorcycle.

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She look like Ms. Universe and I'm bout to be in that black hole

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A man walks into a bar with a frown. The bartender asks, "Why are you sad." "My wife got brutally raped then shot last night."

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not your cheese.

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Your momma so fat that she went to the doctor and he told he to cut down on the junk food because she weighs more than the average human being

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender say, "Sorry, we don't serve your kind here." The man continues to order a drink when he realises the comment was directed at the elephant standind behind him.

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

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Why didnt sally throw out her lunch? Her mom had a miscarriage, she was never born.

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A man dressed as a woman gets hit in the nuts they fall to the ground in pain

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I was walking down the street the other day And I pushed a child under a bus

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Where did Susie go after the explosion? I don't know: she was nowhere near the explosion at the time that it happened. She probably got up to use the bathroom.

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What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

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I'm not saying your mom's ugly, but I like pancakes.

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Q: What do you call a blonde, a brunette, and a red head all who are 16 years old and standing in a school? A: High School Students

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What do you get when you shoot 3 cute kittens that have just walked into the house? 3 dead kittens

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Joe: CHOP CHOP KICK PUNCH HI-YAH! Mike:What are you doing? JOE: PRACTICING CHPO MENTAL KICK KARATE!!!!!!!

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who. *giggle*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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