Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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What would have happend if martin Luther king was white? I don't know he wasn't so it's irrelevant

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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What did the orange say to the lemon? "Hello"

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Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Why aren't there any black flesh-colored bandages? Good question.

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Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

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what does 1 out of 15 people get cancer

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Two muffins are in an oven. Neither of them talk due to the fact that they are muffins and are inanimate, therefore denying them the ability to talk.

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A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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Three gay men are in a bath tub and bubbles come up and one says "who farted?"

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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Q: What's black, white, and red all over? A: A horribly maimed zebra.

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That dress looks amazing on you considering how fat you are.

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What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

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What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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