Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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roses r red violets r blue u jumped in the air and saw a planet to

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A giant foot comes over the town and a man says "theres something big afoot" hahahahahahaha

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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A amazing I idiots D discover S sex

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Roses are red violets are blue vodka cost less than dinner for two

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What does a frog in a blender sound like? *WWWRRRRRRRBFFFFZZZZZCHWEEERRRRRR*

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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every time I stay in the water too long my pp gets all shriverly sometimes can't find it omg that's so weird

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What did the boy say after he fell out of the tree? Nothing, he died.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Women's Rights

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What do black people and bananas have in common? 50% of their DNA

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Yo momma's so fat she went to Antartica and all the penguins were like, "Woah. You're fat."

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Canadians

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Q: What did the homeless man get on his Birthday? A: Hypothermia.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

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Was the last joke funny? Because this one isn't.

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A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

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Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

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I used to think skyrim jokes were funny. Then I took an arrow to the knee.

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The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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You know what they say about priests with big rosaries? I don't know, it's in Latin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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