Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a car.

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Someone told me once, but i had terrible memory so I had them tell me again.

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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What did the buisness man say to the hobo? Nothing, he threw an apple at him and laughed!

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Why do hummingbirds hum? They don't realize how annoying it is.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

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A priest, a nun and an Irishman walk into a bar. The barman says 'what is this, a joke?'

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What is yellow outside, black inside, and makes you laugh when it falls? A school bus full of black people falling from a clif

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Who in Tyrone's black family gave him presents on christmas? Not his dad.

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Why can't you teach drivers ed and sex ed at the same time in Iraq? The camel would get tired.

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What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a BMW in my garage.

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How do you make a mess? Microwave a baby.

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WHY IS THIS SENTENCE CAPITALIZED? BECAUSE CAPS LOCK IS ON.

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What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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What is worse that a bee sting? 2 bee stings what is worse that 2 bee sting? Kony what is wose than Kony? 3 bee stings what is worse than 3 bee sting? being allergic to bee stings

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Why'd the clown fall out of the tree? it died. Why'd the cat fall out of the tree? it died Why'd the chicken fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the clown

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So a girl says "I want to be a banana when I grow up". She's set unrealistic goals and her parents fear she may be autistic.

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A man climbs a tree, falls, and breaks his legs. He will never walk again

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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Do you know what Ethiopian food tastes like? Ethiopian food.

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what did the white guy say to the black guy? nothing because hes racist and hates blacks people

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Mary had a little lamb And a side of fries.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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