Why didn't Sarah come to school today? She had a heart attack and died.

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Why did the man crossing the busy road die? because he wanted to

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What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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So this chick meets a guy at a bar. They never greet each other and the drive home sober.

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Where do you guys find all these jokes? Your mom's Vagina

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

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A man is standing on the street corner waiting for the bus. As it pulls up he steps on and pays his fare while he whistles to his iPod.

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Do you know whats a joke? Something said or done to evoke laughter or amusement, especially an amusing story with a punch line.

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A black man, an asian man, and white man walk into a bar. Not that out of the ordinary since America is a melting pot.

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What do you call 100 black men at the bottom of the ocean? A scuba group because during these hot summer months they like to cool off and go scuba diving.

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Why did Susie fell off the swings? Because she didn't have any arms or legs.

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what did the older brother do? put on a joke on anti jokes what did the younger brother do ? give it a minus score what did the older brother do ? tell him and then played gears of war 2 (they got gears 3 but wanted to go bakc in time, not like michael J fox in a car with a crazy doctor but as in play an old game)

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: my red painted d*ck

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knock knock. who's there? your neighbor. o hi come one in!

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What do you call a woman in the kitchen? Her name.

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A dog walks into a bar. He's a service animal, so this is allowed.

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how many Amish men does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but the likelihood of an Amish man needing to change a lightbulb is very slim.

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no rasist joks

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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My favorite color is Ham. And I can count to Potato.

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Two guys walk into a bar, a spanish guy and a black guy. They get some drinks, call a taxi to arrive home safe. And kiss their wives and kids goodnight. They go to bed early after reading a wallstreet journal. And wake up early so they can both go to their jobs as college professors. To white kids.

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How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He was he was astronomically and improbably lucky.

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What did the parents say to their kid? You're adopted and we don't love you.

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Shelly tells Rob to go home... Thats what she said

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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