ive been a naughty girl, and i need something to plug my hole. call or text me;) 1 (802) 299-5281

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A horse walks into a bar the bartender says "Why the long face?" and the horse said "My wife died of terminal cancer"

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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A:how many notzies dose it change a light bulb B:none they made the jewish do it. :(

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girl. have you seen my duck man. yes he is with me right now girl rely you have him man. yes in my diner girl. d.i.c.k. man.f u

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What do you call a man who only eats fast food? Unhealthy.

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This site is called anti-joke.com Because it is a donkey.

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roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

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What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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Whats the difference between a duck? Both legs are of the same length. Especially the left one.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being chased by a serial rapist.

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A man walks into a bar wearing large and baggy pants. The bartender asks him, "Why the large, baggy pants?" The man replies, "Because they're comfortable."

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How long does it take a person to steal a television? Many variables could determine said ability to successfully steal a television. Such variables depend on sub-variables such as weight of the television, whether the television is a store, an upper-class citizen's home, or in a "ghetto" apartment. A main variable could be the race of the thief in question. African Americans are scientifically more likely to steal a television faster compared to a Caucasian. Yet a downside to being an African American is the fact that they are more likely to be called in for questioning or arrested on the spot at their broken down home. Caucasians are less likely to be questioned and if caught will most likely obtain the proper amount of bribery money in which to pay off the police.

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What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

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A black man is driving a nice car when he's suddenly pulled over by the police. "Do you know why I pulled you over?" asks the cop. "No officer" replies the black man. "You have a taillight out. However I'm going to just let you off with a warning because you seem like an upstanding citizen. Have a nice day."

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A cow walks down the stairs. Not really. They are incapable of walking down stairs. It actually died on the roof.

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Hey bill

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Hello penis

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My grandfather slipped on a banana peel. I helped him up.

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every man comes from between a women's legs for the rest of their lives they try to get back in

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There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Does it feel hot in here?". The other muffin says back, "Holy crap! It's a talking muffin!".

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A black man, an asian man, and white man walk into a bar. Not that out of the ordinary since America is a melting pot.

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OMG, I have a really funny alzheimer's joke. Your'e gonna love it! Uhh, I umm kinda forgot what it was now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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