what Did The Cow Say To The Chicken, Moo

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an autistic child eats its family's dogs poop and dies

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If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

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Why am I telling you this joke? Because I entered the following, agreed to the Terms of Service, and clicked "submit".

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I got pussies, cocks, asses and bitches. In my animal store.

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Why was the boy crying in public with no clothes on? Because he had no clothes on in public.

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roses are red violets are black,why is your chest as flat as your back :O

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Why did Dom move to Wales? Because he is poor!

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Why was Blue looking for her clue. She was drugged by a stranger and ended up inside of Mailbox.

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Why did the man turn up at his friend's funeral dressed as Mickey Mouse? Because it would have been disrespectful not to attend.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

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How many straight naked men can you fit in a wardrobe? I'm not sure but the situation is highly unlikely!

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Ask me if im a truck. Are you a truck? Yes.

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What did the the man, the dog, and the psychiatrist talk about? The man's childhood experience losing his pet as a contributer to his symptoms of psychosis.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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Someone told me once, but i had terrible memory so I had them tell me again.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a car.

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You kill him with an axe

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

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How many Jews can you fit in a Car? 2 in the front seat 3 in the back seat 5 in the trunk and a couple thousand in the Ashtray -WSS Gaming

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What did the buisness man say to the hobo? Nothing, he threw an apple at him and laughed!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? When 6 was younger, he was made fun of by all the bigger numbers. Everyday after school he would go home and wonder why he was made fun of. Was it his looks? How tall he was? The pain and suffering never stopped. He thought of suicide every day he got home from school. One day his mom got home from work and found 6 bleeding in the shower. She thought he was dead. She hurried him to the hospital where he was barely kept alive. After months of recovery, he started going back to school. The bullying never stopped, they started calling him a loser who should have died. He got older and depressed as a teenager. He got ahold of alcohol and began drinking. He went to meetings and got over his addiction. 10 years later he meets up with 7. It takes him back to his horrible childhood with the big numbers. Every time 6 sees 7, he gets reminded of everything. 7 had also murdered someone in front of 6.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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