A black man, a jew and a muslim walk into a bar. ... I forgot what happens next, so let's just say they have a good time and get back home safely.

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo. Moral: Cuckoo!

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A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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"What's up?" "A movie about an old man who takes his house to South America by tying balloons to it, who accidentally brings along a young boy with him and they have an adventure."

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How do u know what a ass is. You no once you meet adam mac.

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Why did Justin Bieber jump out of the airplane? He didn't, i pushed him

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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What's worse than being single on Valentine's Day? Finding out your son has AIDS.

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Everything.

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Bin laden walks into a bar oh wait he's dead.

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If the camel has seven toes and the armadillo has thirteen, why does your mom pleasure herself to a picture of George Clooney ?

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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What did Super man say when the bullets didn't hurt him? That didn't hurt.

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why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

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How did little Sally break her Nintendo DS? Her abusive father repeatedly abused her and punished her until she was thrown into a stone wall. As she went into the wall she crushed by another wall and broke the DS.

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Did you hear about the kid from Texas? He shot his campus up.

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Knock Knock I have a door bell It's broken Oh

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Ok good, just checking. It would be a shame for your perishable foodstuffs to go bad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops