When does a cat not land on its feet? When it has paws.

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

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Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SKINNY PERSON AND A JESSE? Answer: THE SKINNY PERSON IS VERY LEAN AND THE FAT PERSON IS VERY JELL-OUS

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

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Why did the muffin not eat the other muffin. Because muffins do not have a digestive system.

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Why is this website called anti-jokes? i don't know but it makes sense.

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Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

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what do you call a blonde who can't drive? a poor driver

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The umpire asked the baseball coach "Who is that on 1st base?" The baseball coach said "Who." The umpire said "Yes, that's what I'm asking." The baseball coach handed the umpire a list of his players to avoid any further confusion.

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What do you call three Asian people eating a cat? A tragic last resort for a starving family.

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What do you call a duck who votes democrat? A duck

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Why did the chicken cross the playground. He didn't. chickens are unsanitary to have in schools

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Yo mama so old when I slapped her on the back her tits fell off.

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Whats bigger than 'burger king'? A. burger

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

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Q) What did the Irishman get for his birthday? A) Drunk

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What's worse than dropping you're ice cream? Getting your face mauled off by a German Shepard.

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what do you call something that dosint exist? nothing.

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your mommas so stupid she tried to climb mountain dew well im glad your mom is intrested in trying new things

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what does pedobear get for christmas ? nothing he's the one giving love to all kids .

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There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

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a blind man walks off a cliff..... he's dead now.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops