Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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A kid walks into a bar, everyone fled the bar because they were all afraid of goats

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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What did Al gore say after he sold his TV Station to Arab Oil Money? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. CHA-CHING!

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Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

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Once upon a time, there was a cat. He died.

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Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

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What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

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why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Your face is hilarious.

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

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What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

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What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

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Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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