welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

What did the smurf say to the other smurf? Smurf

Knock knock Who's there? John Oh hello John come on in mate.

But officer, I did come to a full stop!

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

what's blue , and you can urinate it? a rim block.

roses are red violets are blue kyle brown and pj nosaki have big balls

whats sad about justin bieber getting hit by a car and dying ? I wasnt driving the car that hit him.

A rabbai , a mexican , and a ginger are In a car going over a cliff. Which one dies? Who cares?

Q: What's funnier than rape? A: Many things such as murder or nuclear warfare.

roses are red violets are blue. they both smell like flowers

What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

A man tells a blonde "you are what you eat" and she replies "well, i don't think I've eaten any sexy beasts today.'

What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

Why did sally fall of of the swing she had no arms

How do you make a twelve year old girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear.

What did the black man say to the white man? Hey, I like your shirt.

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says what will it be? The duck replies "lemonade!"

What did the homeless kid get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

Ask me what my favorite color is. What's you favorite color? Blue.

Are tomatoes more scary than onions? No. They are not more scary than onions.

How do you kill a clown? You smash his face into a brick.

What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my d i c k in your a s s.

Why was the teacher having sex with her pupils? Because it was 2145 and that kind of shit is common then

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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